DeadJaune
by SkyKicker10101
Summary: Jaune Arc, He is the merc with a mouth and a pro fourth wall breaker now armed with the mission of getting back at Adam Taurus for killing off his second eldest sister Violet but now Jaune is seeing a war underneath the shadows and he initially doesn't want anything to do with it as Adam Taurus and the White Fang are his main concerns.
1. Chapter 1: Dead-Jaune

Prologue: Dead-Jaune

Notes: your probably asking me 'SKY!? HOW IS THIS GONNA WORK!? JAUNE IS A 17 YEAR OLD BOY SO HOW WOULD JAUNE BE A FOUL MOUTHED, DRUG ADDICTING, SUPER HEALING, GUN FANATIC!?' Well here's on simple thing, it's my story and I'm into Deadpool right now and so far I don't think I've seen a story like this or I may be stupid and I haven't been looking real hard.

Now this is gonna be a challenge now I'm going to event ideas for Jaune, who to fight, where to go because I'm sure as hell ozpin isn't gonna be kind for an Anti-Hero.

Now I'm going to need ideas for a team of 7, team Deadpool! It can be canon characters or ocs! Entirely up to you.

Now here are pools for romantic interests and here's the fun part, some are gonna be genderbent soooo ;) think about it

\- Yang

\- Nora

\- Fem Ren - 1

\- Willow Schnee

\- Velvet

\- Fem Qrow

—

Inside of a non conspicuous looking factory though the looks are heavily deceiving as this very location is a major base to the Terrorist Cell known as the White Fang which holds the significant amount of operations in the kingdom of vale.

Inside the factory in the conveyor department is where a white fang soldier is through onto the belt before rolling onto the other side getting up onto his feet looking around "w-what are you!?" He shouted seeing a red suited man with two swords on his back with two M1911s on both his legs as well as a pocket dimension filled with all sorts of weapons and equipment.

"Oh me? Names Margret. Well why I'm here is that" the red suited masked man exclaimed patting himself in the chest moving side to side "well a few years ago, a red headed little shit decided to kill the only part of my family who even remotely cared for me and he decided to murderer her wife as well as there 6 month old child so I'm pretty pissed" The masked man exclaimed stopping before swiftly unsheathing his right sword and throwing it fast stabbing through the fangs throat causing him to fall onto his left.

The masked man walked, jumped then dropped from the conveyor belt ripping the sword out of the corpses resheathing into its holder on the mans back, the man looks at the readers "oh heeeeey guys! Sorry I didn't see you there." The masked man starts moving and side dodging heavy machinery looking at you more and continued to talk "now your probably asking, 'I thought this would be a Deadpool Knockoff Equivalent to Rwby' and in some circumstances you'd be right!" Deadpool spoke before a battle cry of two white fang dropped from the rafters above wielding red swords.

The red man unsheathed both swords blocking the two blades that is slashing downwards "bad clothing guys! You forgot to wear the brown pants!" Deadpool mocked, raising his right foot slamming it onto the right fang warrior sending him backwards before using his left sword to push the red opposing blade upwards then used the right katana to slash the mans throat.

The blade slashed through the throat cutting through his voice box and windpipe causing the man to fall back grasping his open neck trying to repair what damage he could, the other white fang member hastily getting back onto his feet "ARRRRRRHGHHHHAAAAA" roaring his terrible roar charged at the red masked man throwing a fist with his right but it's been cut off with the left sword wielded "AHHHHHHHHHH!" The grunt screamed as he stared at the bloody stump where his righty used to be.

Deadpool looks at you "be honest, you'd react the same if you lost your JO hand" The red merc laughed as he raised his left sword cutting the grunts head letting fall to the floor then the bloody stump where the head used to be starts gushing blood like a fountain before falling down next to the decapitated partner.

Stepping right over them continuing his walk through heavy machinery of the former weapons plant looking at you again "so as I was saying, I'm not Wade Wilson or the actor Ryan Reynolds! No no, I'm Jaune Arc or in this Fanfic, a more Badass Version of Jaune. Now your probably asking 'oh Jaune, how did you become this super badass?' Well my second eldest sister, Violet, died to a douche named Adam Taurus, who btw is a total edge Lord" Jaune stopped his life's story when he enters the hallway continuing to walk, looking at you again "now I've made it my life's mission to shoot ' ' in the fucking head then fuck the bullet hole" The red masked man laughed to himself looking to the front where a grunt is yelling at the camera.

"COME ON LIEUTENANT! LETS KILL THIS-" the grunt was yelling to get his leader but a loud bang cuts through that and a bullet hits the back of the head causing blood to splat onto the camera then hitting the ground, looking at you again "ok, now they my sister n' family died given me the drive to forcibly activate my aura and while your probably asking 'but gale! That's not how aura works' well here's my rebuttals" Jaune exclaimed stepping up to where the grunt died yelling at the camera before looking back at you "the writers to Rwby are lazy so they don't explore the scientifics except for the part where science can't explain it..I mean that's just saying your lazy if science can't explain anything" looking around for something and sees a barrel so moving it close to the camera.

Before getting on it while wiping the blood off the camera shouting at it "A panic room really?! Don't have the balls to face me like a real man? I didn't realize your Faunus heritage was a chicken!" Jaune turns back to you again "yes I know that was racist but everyone has a splash of racism! Now lastly your probably asking why I'm here! Well one of Adams Chief Lieutenants manages this splinter cell-" "THERE HE IS!" Jaune stopped talking to the readers to only turn around to find 25 Fangers then looking back you fear filling Jaunes voice "...ohhhh nooooo!"

Outside the factory is where a blonde man with a patch of her just below his lip and extreme stubble on his jawline obviously on Bluetooth with his team "what do you mean that 'a man in a red suit' kidnapped you?" A feminine voice asked highly unsure of what she's been hearing along with another female voice much higher pitched "...do you need help Tai?" The man now named tai just chuckled nervously "no no Summer baby! I don't need rescue and Qrow? What I mean is that me and my taxi had been hijacked by a gun toting merc-" "whats that sound ol partner of mine?" The woman named Qrow exclaimed before a giggle was sounded out "what soun-" "START THE FUCKING CAR!" Tai swiftly turned to the right seeing the Red suited man jump and dived THROUGH the window "AHHHHHH!" Tai screamed in fear slamming his foot on the acceleration.

"DRIIIIIIIIVE!" Jaune yelled at the elder Huntsmen who screamed while the taxi is driving FAST down while white fang grunts is running out the facile shooting at the runaway taxi.

Jaune swiftly gets onto his butt in the back turning towards the rear windshields watching the shrinking forms of the grunts "oh my oum!" Jaune turned around laughing "hahahaha! You believe in a writer who works for rooster teeth" laughing a bit more before looking at the readers "may god have mercy on his autistic soul" Jaune sighs as he sinks into his comfy taxi seat reaching up and taking off his red spandex mask revealing a young face around 21 Years old which he has bags under his eyes.

"Tai!? Tai!? What's wrong! Ahhhh QROW! WATCH THE KIDS IM GOING AFTER MY HUSBAND!" Jaune opened his eyes again to stare through the open compartment that blocks the back and front sections of the taxi watching as a woman with longish black hair and red tips is screaming through the visual Bluetooth "sum! I'm not in danger! The guy who hijacked my taxi slams through my window while being shot at" "WHAT!?" The combined voices of both Summer Rose and Qrow Branwen exclaimed in shock.

Jaune raised his right arm seeing a bullet hole in his right forearm so raising his left poked his index finger through the hole wound, taking it out just to stick it back in before looking at the readers with a knowing smile at his own actions before looking at tai "hey Armando, wanna introduce me to the cuties on the screen?" Jaune spoke causing Tai to look over his right shoulder chuckling at the Red suited merc before looking back "ladies, this is Deadpool. DP this is my wife Summer 'Xio Long' Rose and my drunk of a partner Qrow Branwen" "Did you hurt my husband?" Summer asked obviously concerned for her marriage partner but Jaune just shook his head "made him stay still in the car" Jaune comments about this closing his eyes once again.

"Deadpool looks rather young, the way he fights isn't he studying in one of the Hunter Academies?" Qrow asked having kept a close eye on the Red suited merc which tai responded "no, a merc." "So a criminal" Qrow exclaimed which tai just shrugged before looking at DP "where to next?" "To a bar named Hub of Robotics" Tai nodded taking his right hand off the wheel to start messing his taxis Navigation "I gotta go Qrow, Sum. I'll be home later tonight to celebrate rubies birthday" "you better, I don't want to be stuck explaining why her father wouldn't show up" The elder rose explained cutting off the connection.

Tai peeks over at Jaune obviously curious on the young merc with a mouth "I gotta ask Deadpool, why don't someone like you who is obviously skilled not attend the Hunter Academies?" Tai asked curiously as someone like Jaune who was obviously skilled greatly could make a wonderful Huntsmen.

Jaune just chuckled lifelessly before speaking seriously "Tai, there are different occupations outside of Hunters" Jaune reopened his eyes staring directly at tai through the rear view mirror "I'm in the shit everyday hunting down Unspeakable Monsters, Sex, Drug, Weapon and Faunus Traffickers, Warlords, Crime Bosses and Mass Murderers. All the types of people no one is willing to touch not even the supposed hunters who are depicted as people who can do anything" Jaune exclaimed fully as his attention as a Mercenary comes to light to Tai.

Deadpool closed his left then moved his right eye staring at you "I mean come on, all the Rwby franchise is about Huntsmen and Huntresses, I mean come on where are the bakers? Jewelry Crafters or even the fucken janitors. It's all about Huntsmen this, aura that and Grimm everywhere" Jaune snorted at the last part closing his eye again

"Your still young kid, don't you have a future your working for right?" Tai asked as Jaune was as old as his eldest daughter so his fatherly instincts had kicked in "my future aspirations died years ago" "how so?" "My sister and her wife died to a white fang shit eater" Tai frowned at this as he figured out that DPs main motive is revenge but decided against calling him out on this so the veteran Huntsmen "so how long have you been a Mercenary?" Tai asked as he merged onto a busy street in downtown vale going east.

Jaune who still had his eyes closed thinking about how long he's been working as a contract killer since his sister died 10 Years ago leaving Jaune to be orphaned without the rest of the Arc Clan to take him causing Jaune to be picked up by a drifter with a sword, training Jaune in the way of the blade "10 Years age my Eldest sister dies, I've been wondering the streets fighting to survive for a couple of years before I met a man-" Jaune briefly stopped himself to open his eyes and looks at the readers "who may or may not be a man named Wade Wilson, played by Ryan Reynolds..." Jaune chuckled before moving his eyes back at tai.

"spent 4 years training to be the best swordsmen and gunner before taking on Mercenary work a year after when a lady was murdered just for stepping into the Faunus district before I murdered the White Fang cell in the area before I found the place where they hand out merc fares and I've been in the business ever since" Jaune exclaimed the cliff notes of his life's story before the taxi stops in front of a bar which held a simple bar look but again, looks can be deceiving.

The sign above the main entrance said 'Hub of Robotics' which seemed unusual however Jaune gets out of the taxi from the drivers side and handed tai through the open window a generous large stack of lien cards but as tai puts away the money he heard, looking at Jaune tucking his mask onto his back belt "listen kid, if you ever want to talk, hang out or something...you can always like...hijack my cab again" Jaune smiled to himself nodding "thanks tai, I may just take that up"

Jaune starts walking towards the bar looking at the readers again "so the Hub of Robotics is a bar owned by a very close friend of mine and many of you are yelling 'Jaune, the hub of Robotics is just a rip off of Sister Margrets from the first Deadpool movie' and yes, it is because the writer of this no budget fanfic has the originality of a dead chicken hahaha" Jaune laughed lightly grasping the handle of the door swinging it open then entering the building.

"Welcome to the Hub of Robotics" Jaune says to you as he entered the main bar area which consisted mainly of Droids of all variety while one droid of mysterious original in a hoodie and sweat pants was pouring dark colored drinks to several robots and atlas drones at the counter "in legal eyes this bar is just a bar that serves anyone but in recent years it's been a hotspot for robots and Mercs like me" Jaune explained to the readers before grazing a hand through his unkept messy blonde hair.

Then started moving towards the bar where the Tan Colored Thin Droid was working at "that's my close friend, a robot that appeared in a meteor one day and I happened to stumble on him during one of my jobs and helped him integrate with the society, but seriously. He came from the Starwars universe hehe" Jaune exclaimed chuckling before continuing his explanation to the readers.

"In any case, he is B1-224 or the name I've given him 'Battledroid1106' or BD for short. He's a great friend and I more then enough times mooch off drinks from hehe" Jaune exclaimed chuckling then reaching the counter where the droid turned his head and walking over "Jaune Arc, the Meatbag of Pity! What can I get you?" "Sex" Jaune comments with a brow raised causing the droid to look down slightly "oh god, me too. There's only a point where I reach in my sex life for wanting a real dick attached to me so I can pleasure my wife" "...care to double team?" Jaune asked the very sexual and very real question prompting the B1 Sentient Droid to look with logical unmoving Deadpanned Face to Jaunes grinning one "...no, anyway didn't you say you'd take the day off after you came back from your private investigation?" The Droid asked while picking up the cloth on the counter to wipe its droid hands from the Oilade he made earlier for a couple of robot customers.

Jaune shook his head pulling out a silver card with the name Foreskin Night "I've came back to get my money" the droid snorted extending his right arm to claim the silver card then turning to his right to walk over towards the cash register and the best safe a merc can steal "that's why huh, what about your roommate...uhhh?" BD stopped after putting the digital code to the safe before losing track of his thought "the old shopkeeper?" "His name is Gerald you insensitive ass" Jaune corrected with mild irritation while glaring lightly at his metallic friend before turning to you guys "and you! I bet you don't know the old shopkeepers name either, you intolerant fucks!" Jaune insulted the readers before turning back to BD who's clanking feet came towards placing a large box onto the counter.

"10 Grand of Lien as per the deal of the contract and a bonus" BD exclaimed putting a photo next to the box that showed Roman Torchwick with Neapolitan next to him sitting at the bar, Jaune picks up the photo and getting a closer look at the woman since Jaune knows her, Neapolitan 'Neo' Droid aka the wife to the scariest sentient droid in vale "...what the hell am I looking at?" Jaune asked raising the photo for the droid owner to stare at it which he responded "my wife had been hired by a week ago for whatever reason though the pay is very good for a bodyguard position however I find the Meatbag very rude, commented disgustingly at the decor of my shop as well as referring to droid kind as 'dumb machines' insulting and racist" BD exclaimed as he waved his arms around erratically as to reiterate his point.

Jaune However took the photo as to get a closer look at the most dapper motherfucker in Rwby, looking at him with a chuckle "don't deny it, he's one dapper bitch huh, I'd fuck him" Jaune turns his attention back to BD who held a very confused stance "any case why are you giving me his picture?" BD sighed as he extended his right hand towards the photo moving back and forth a few times "I've heard a bit of chatter about Roman and I've learned that our mutual dapper friend has recently formed a business connection with the White Fang and more notably...Adam Taurus so knowing you, if you want to find Adams latest trail then you gotta find the one who forged that connection" BD pointed out before walking away when Two Atlas Drones came at the bar.

Jaune looks down at the red headed man again with a smile creeping onto Jaunes face "well well...looks like Guyliner is my next victim" Jaune turned towards bd who's pouring a glass of Mother oil for the two drones "hey BD!" BD stopped pouring to look at Jaune who continued "I'm heading home now, Use that money and buy everyone a second drink on the top shelf

An hour passed after Jaune left the bar called the 'Hub of Robotics' and he's walking into an apartment complex though continued to stare down at the picture of Roman drinking at the bar with neo next to him "Alright guys" Jaune exclaims to the readers "next target is Guyliner and I know his name is Roman BUT, romans new name is Guyliner now first! To rest and recover from that botched mission against one of Adams chief Lieutenants and the best way to do that is a nice drink of bourbon then a whole Rosing round of beating my meat then coating my pink fluffy unicorn in my sauce" Jaune laughed to himself before turning to the door labeled 227.

Jaune opens the door as it was unlocked due to the roommate Jaune picked up a couple years back and now they had become best friends "and another rip off from the Deadpool movies! I've got me my own elderly roommate! His name is Garold and I love him!" Jaune exclaims chuckling at the readers before sitting down at the surprisingly comfortable couch "I've sent out an Ad on Nikos List, which I know is a play on for Pyrrah Nikos Name but in this Deadpool Rip Off, I don't love her. The author HATES the Arkos ship and frankly, so do I" Jaune snorted chuckling before speaking out "hey Garold! I'm home!"

An elderly voice is heard from the kitchen which belonged to the lone shop keeper who has been labeled by Jaune as the Jack of All Trades "welcome back Jaune! I'm preparing tea. Would you like some?" "Yes please!" Jaune exclaimed picking up the remote on the table tuning it onto the news which is hosted by Lisa Lavender "welcome back to VNN tonight, one of the abandoned factories in Vale City's Industrial Section has just been figured out as a major base for the terrorist cell known as the 'White Fang' over 210 Casualties of White fang members, 45 Injured with no hopes to recover and 55 Mentally scarred members. But the bottom line question is...who attacked the fang?" Jaune soon turned out the noise from the woman as an old man with a light green shirt with brown pants, his eyes are narrowed to the point where they look like they are closed then his hair looks old as well, spiky all around but the top portion of the head is pure bald head.

Garold looked at the TV as he sat down the cups of tea in front of his roommate "something to do with you I suppose?" The elderly man asked sitting down while chuckling at the mock hurt of his friend "Garold!? I am shocked! Shocked and appall that you'd think so little of me!?" Garold held a look of deadpan which made Jaune grin at it then burst out laughing while slapping his left knee with the same adjacent hand "ahahahahahaha! Yeah totally me! I went in BLAM BLAM, SWING AND SLASH till someone gave up the location of Adam" Jaune exclaimed pulling out his right pistol mimicking gun shots as well as using his free left hand to simulate a sword slashing before laughing again.

Garold looks at the photo Jaune placed on the table moments ago "is that your next target?" The Old man asked which Jaune looks again grinning "Yeah Garold...my next target"


	2. Chapter 2: Texting and E-Harmony Sucks

Chapter 2: Texting and E-Harmony Sucks

—

-Flashback-

"Alright kid, the first thing you need to know before rushing into battle is to fight to win, there's no such thing as dirty fighting so use any trick you have. There was once a time I nutted to blind my target" a man exclaimed as he and a young Jaune stood in the middle of rocky wasteland, the older man was muscular that could get many men jealous while his hair was nearly cut and trimmed though his eyes showed war and pain, his outfit mainly consisted of a white Wham! T shirt and blue jeans

"You...nutted?" Said Young Jaune as his hair reached to his shoulder and his blue eyes wanted to learn to fight though his outfit consisted of the same one from Vol.1.

"Right in his eyes! Haha!" The unknown teacher laughed before getting serious "it's called dirty fighting kid, when I found you, you did everything to ensure survival so what I'm teaching you will be essentially enhancing your second nature now kid raise your sword! I'll teach you how to nut in someone's eyes!" "Yes Master Wilson!" Jaune exclaimed raising his sword with the man Wade Wilson

-End Flashback-

Jaunes eyes opened swiftly as a memory of his training back with his master, Wade Wilson, came to his mind "ughhh...why am I JUST remembering that now of all times..." the Merc exclaimed as he rolled over from the couch he claimed as his bed to look at the alarm clock on the coffee table which was -3:44 AM- "fucken Hell..." DP exclaims to himself at the time since he never wakes up around this time, grunting then extended his right arm since Jaune was on his left, reached then grabbed the Scroll.

Turning it on then pressed the Phone App on the scroll showing a very low list of people Jaune knows

-Sam Bronze

-Wolverine/Logan Drake

Jaune stopped looking at his scroll then looked at the readers with a grin "that's right bitches! Wolverine is in this fanfic and we are besties!" Jaune laughed silently before going down the list

-Link Sunrise

-Vikki Violet

-Battledroid1106 aka BD

-Neo

-Garold

-Angela Bloodstone

And lastly

-Mercury Black

Jaune kept staring at the scroll trying to see if any of them are awake around this time but decided to- "I'm gonna tell you guys about each friend, what they do slightly then how they met the glorious me!" Jaune chuckled looking at you again "let's go down the list shall we? You've already met BD and knew how I met him, so first is Sam."

"Sam Bronze is an inspired character from the WEBTOON Comic 'Let's play' so the writer decided to put her and a few others in here for shits and giggles heheheh" Jaune speaks about his friend "Sam in this fanfic is a doctor! She is a pacifist who used her unique healing semblance to heal others. How I met her is actually the same time I discovered my triple semblance" Jaune grew serious slowly getting up using his left elbow "don't say that's not a thing, it's a FUCKING thing when I say it is!" Jaune snorted giving a grin before laying back down to continue his story "anyway when I went to Doctor Bronze that day, I think she passed out at the fact that my hand, the left, was missing before waking up to find it growing back and passed out again.

She woke up again and said she found my semblance extremely fascinating and wanted to study me though I cracked a joke about it being sexual and Sam went into a blushing mess with me laughing my balls off." Jaune finished the story as his eyes fell down to the name below grinning at wolverines name "you'd have a hard time believing that a guy like me has a time making weird friends considering my dark and sexual humor as well as tendencies to kill everyone around me, Wolverine in this timeline is a Huntsmen graduated from the sandy dunes of Vacuo though he met is actually a funny story, two years ago I was contracted by our usual broker aka the droid douche named BD.

Anyway, i found the hairy fucker in Forever Falls and we fought and wanna know what happened? Motherfucker cuts off my arms and legs! Then stood by and talked while my appendages regrew. Well there could be worse ways to make a friend who one tried to kill" Jaune exclaimed his friendship with Wolverine aka Logan before looking down at Link "Link is also a character idea from 'Let's Play' but a different version, link in this is a very kind and caring individual as well as the known enforcer to one of vale's four crime families, oh btw same is also a member but is more on the legal side of things,.

Anyway link over looks the public interaction with the less then legal and he is employed by a large wall of muscle named Big Daddy Bane" Jaune stopped talking grinning again "oh yeah, I stole that guy from someone! It's called public use bitches! But anyway Link is a close friend and he throws some jobs my way taking care of some rats here and there, I've met Link in BDs bar last year who was looking for a merc to handle a job then BD being the dick that he is told Link to ask me." Jaune finished speaking about link to look down at the name vikki.

"Vik is normal canon aka WEBTOON is vastly different in terms of things, firstly she's a therapist and she does it for fun to! Seriously! I go to her once a week to talk about how I kill people and how they somehow relate to my issues of wanting to kill my parents but anyway she's by far the most calm woman I've ever met! Her semblance allows her to calm other people at a far greater success much like Lie Rens! But in any case she's also a co leader of the underground fight club that I occasionally enter" Jaune stops momentarily to continue "Oh vik is also a member of one of the four from families so that's goo to know. We met blandly as I've came for a therapy session"

Jaune continues through the list finding that talking about this is getting him sleepy again, yawning slightly before continuing "you already met BD, I know BDs wife Neo through him so not much to tell besides that she's one scary fucking midget. I met Garold on Ronald's List when i put out an ad for a roommate. Now Angela is by far the SCARIEST woman I had seen in my whole life! And I seen Neo burn down a restaurant on her Anniversary when She was handed a kids menu" Jaune paused as he shook from that time and it was when everyone knew to never fuck with neo, NO ONE.

"How I met Angela was actually in the Combat Arena she co owns with vikki and I had the displeasure on fighting her...let's just say...my head at to regrow a lot of me..." Jaune chuckled lightly before moving down to the last guy who was Mercury "merc is my partner, we go to the comic shops together and we take some jobs that requires more then one person so he's like my go to homie when it comes to merc work. We actually met on a partner site on the internet for best bros *Yawn*" Jaune finishes his little rant to the readers before slowly closing his eyes falling back to slumber

-Flashback-

Jaune was on his knees bloodied and battered with numerous scars and bruises littering his body while he cradled the head of Wade Wilson who had his lower half destroyed in a fiery blast "it's going to be ok...we can get you new legs! It's going to be fine! We will walk out of here just fine...just fine..." Jaune soon broke down into tears as his only friend and basically a father figure is almost dead.

"Hey kid..." Wade spoke out reopening his eyes on what would be the final time "I may not have been the best role model...not like my own piece of shit father *cough cough* just know kid...I am proud of you" the old grizzled merc slowly closed his eyes again prompting Jaunes eyes to start throwing out waterfalls of tears.

To the point where his bodies starts exuding a yellowish aura which extends to his master and father figure just as he passed before the aura faded, all the bloody cuts and bruisers started fading and touching up instantly Jaune kept crying until he heard Wade Wilson's voice in the young mercs Head 'Woaaaah...this feels trippy, you alright kid?' "M-Master?..." Jaune asked looking down at Wilson's dead body obviously before looking around thinking he was going crazy 'yeah, something happened now I'm in your head' "WHAT!?" Jaune shouted as he hears wades voice in his head.

"What the fuck just happened!?" Jaune again asked looking around his body to find all his battle wounds gone, disappeared for whatever reason 'yeah, I'm tripping to kid but upside is! I'm still around!' Jaune sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose trying to figure what the hell just happened "how are you in my head!?" Jaune yelled getting up from the ground after setting wades body down.

"No idea...I think you just activated your semblance" "so my semblance is sucking in souls of people?" 'I don't know maybe!? Do you have a sort of semblance expert!?' "I don't fucking know!? Maybe!? We need to call a scientist!" Jaune kept yelling in the open as he didn't care if people saw him crazy, Jaune was already crazy.

-End Flashback-

Jaunes eyes opened that was facing the clock on the oak colored table seeing it was 10:55 am and a plate filled with eggs, bacon and a coffee mug showing the morning glory willed with no coffee but good smelling bourbon "Garold knows how to spoil me hehe" the young Deadpool exclaims slowly getting up to pick up the fork and shovel the food into his mouth, though as Jaune did a yellow box comically appeared next to Jaune 'those look great! Too bad I can't EAT IT!' Jaune groans at the internal voice that belongs to Wade Wilson "shut it WADE. Can't you relive the sensations through my senses?" Jaune said which the box reappears again with different words and wades voice 'I'm still learning how to this extra soul bit kid but anyway what's on todays planner?' The box shifted into those words with wade speaking.

Jaune had a fork in his hand scarfing down the eggs and shredded cooked potatoes into his mouth while in his left hand was his scroll typing something "I'm texting a friend of the Crime Families, they know what goes on in the dark side of the world" Jaune answered wades question.

{Dead-Jaune: Angela, I'm cashing in that favor you owe me}

Jaune sent the text before looking up to put down the fork and grab the remote to turn on the news to find any White Fang Activity however his scroll vibrated in his left hand so looking down to find the scariest woman texted back.

{Scary Bitch(Angela): about fucking time Red, what is it? Need someone whacked?}

{Dead-Jaune: I wouldn't mind being Whacked ;) }

{Scary Bitch(Angela): I'm sure link wouldn't care for that because you know...he's my HUSBAND!}

Jaune snorts at this because this little notion always annoyed the angry red head woman 'she's easy to tease ain't she?' The box with wades voice appeared next to Jaune with the blonde merc nodded "yeah but she knows this and plays along, it's fun for both of us" Jaune responded to the comic box next to him though the box disappeared.

{Scary Bitch(Angela): in all seriousness red, what is it?}

{Dead-Jaune: Can you find me any information on a Roman Torchwick? As well as his recent movements in vale and the surrounding area along with any collaboration with the White Fang or any other crime group outside the four crime families of vale?}

Jaune sent the text though waiting a while so he looks at the news for any information but found that atlas was arriving in vale in the next few days for the start of the Vytal Festival 'Atlas is going to bring a fleet aren't they?' Wade asked with the comic box appearing on Jaunes right, the blonde Merc sighed but agreed to this "yeah, dozens of fanfics tells that atlas has no subtlety when it comes to showing off there power" the comic box shifted again to the next sentence with wade speaking them 'you do realize that they are basically inciting war by bringing a fleet that large into vale' "yeah because there General is a political idiot" Jaune retorted with a chuckle looking down at his scroll since it vibrated.

{Scary Bitch(Angela): your not making this easy for me, plus I thought your target was Adam Taurus}

{Dead-Jaune: Still am, Alex which will be romans new name, is my latest trail for Adam}

{Crazy Bitch(Angela): Ok but what your asking is a bit big even for me, I'll get the green light from Big Daddy which will be good since he likes you. But text Sam and Vikki for help as well, I'll get link to help on my end. Also Alex? From Clockwork Orange?}

{Dead-Jaune: Someone on Wattpad wanted me to call Roman that}

{Crazy Bitch(Angela): ...What The Fuck?}

Jaune just laughed at this particular fourth wall before getting up to take the plate into his right hand talking to the voice in his head "ok, I've got Big Daddy Banes support along with some help from Angela and Ocarina of Time Link now I just need Sam to get some medical records and vikki with her route connections from all over vale then I'll be golden to bring in Roman and ...TALK to him he heheheh" Jaune speaks to the readers while walking into the kitchen which was very nice, spotless and clean.

Setting the dishes into the sink before pulling out his scroll again to start texting more of his friends

{Dead-Jaune: Sam, I'm calling in a favor you owe}

{Sweet Sammy: Please don't make it about hurting people _ I became a doctor to help! Not hurt!}

{Dead-Jaune: what? No! I need medical records! Your one of vale's top doctors so you must have access to certain records}

{Sweet Sammy: Oh. Well yeah I do but it depends on who you want}

{Dead-Jaune: Roman Torchwick}

Jaune waited for several minutes for Sam to respond to his text but felt worried that she might have passed out again for the shock until his phone vibrates but not as a text but a legit call with visual off since Jaune keeps that application turned off for safety reasons, accepting the call only for Jaune to pull the phone away from his ear when The sweet doctor shouted "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?" Through the line came sams voice however she wasn't done shouting "DO YOU REALIZE HOW DANGEROUS A MAN LIKE HIM IS!?" She finished prompting Jaune to put the scroll close to his ear speaking calmly into it "yes I know it's dangerous Sam but in the latest trail for Adam I was told he made an arrangement with Roman so I need to...talk to him"

"Your insane!" Sam shouted out the obvious though Jaune just laughed as he walked back into the living room though continued to pace back and forth in front of the TV "Never underestimate the stupidity of idiots Sammy, anyway can you get me those records?" Jaune claims before asking the original question again to the pacifist woman though a sigh is heard on the line "give me a couple days and I'll get them" "have them by Friday" and like that Jaune ended the call before opening another string of texts with Vikki

{Dead-Jaune: Vik, I'm cashing in a favor}

{Possible Psychopath(Vikki): oh, well it certainly depends on what you need}

{Dead-Jaune: you've been following trade agreements as well overlooked most events in vale for the four crime families right?}

{Possible Psychopath(Vikki): That is most certainly true hun}

{Dead-Jaune: have you found anything that Roman Torchwick has been involved with?Recently?}

{Possible Psychopath(Vikki): less then you'd Think Jaune, but I have been a broker for Big Daddy Bane to a woman named Cinder Fall who wanted to forge an agreement. I've seen Roman with her at the negotiating table}

{Dead-Jaune: Cinder Fall? Well it looks like I've got someone else to chase to find Adam. Was this recent?}

{Possible Psychopath(Vikki): 4 Months Ago...please don't start a fight with , Jaune. Its completely unnecessary}

{Dead-Jaune: BLASPHEMY! All fights are necessary...what did she bring to the table?}

{Possible Psychopath(Vikki): it was very odd...when she came to us, she said for our help she can ensure our place in a new world}

Jaune didn't answer to that since he stopped walking all over the living room just staring at the text over and over wondering what Cinder Fall meant by that but decided to shelve that one for a later time then texted a thank you to the possible psycho 'so what do we do?' Wade spoke as a yellow comic box appeared next to Jaune "we go to the bar for a while" Jaune responds to his master then walking out the living room to put on his casual clothes.

-Location: Hub of Robotics-

Jaune is walking down the sidewalk looking as casual though quite since he's wearing a Pumpkin Pete's Hoodie and blue jeans complete with purple crocks, Jaune LOVES crocks, though the blonde Merc stops in front of the push in door then going inside to the usual and comforting dose of crazy inside.

Walking over to the Bar where BD Stood pouring a glass of Oilade to a Construction Droid which was a hulking machine "here you go bob" BD exclaimed to the hulk droid which it nodded then taking the glass and walking over to the huge ass stage inside the bar which is on the right from the door.

Jaune walks towards the bar which BD turned to his left to see Jaune and walked over "What's up Meatbag?" The Starwars Droid greeted the Blonde Merc who nodded "hey BD? Do you have connections on getting information" the Droid nodded its nimble head "well yes but why?" "The one I'm getting the information on has been dealing with Adam in...I don't know Volume 2? Or 3? The author can't remember" Jaune exclaimed seeing that the Droids stance was confused so prompting the blonde man to continue "alright, I need information on Cinder Fall. Her past and her recent dealings along with associates" Jaune asked for in detail for the exact person so BD nodded then to motion Jaune to sit at the bar before the tan thin Droid turns to walk into the back room.

*2 HOURS LATER* "2 HOURS LATER" Jaune shouted the amount of time passed.

Jaune was staring at his scroll where the app he was on showed 'Love at First Sight? You don't really believe these Dating sights works' Wade said inside Jaunes Head with a comic yellow box appearing next to the blonde man who shook his head "hell no but i watched a couple of commercials last night about this app. Like E-Harmony but less stupid" Jaune retorts then looks at the readers with a smirk "don't buy into that crap about E-Harmony or any dating site on TV! Nobody can Guarantee Love but do you know what does? Work! You gotta work for love! Like what I'm about to do!" Jaune laughed at his rant then returned his gaze onto the scrolls screen.

'What's your profile about?' Said a Yellow Comic Box that appeared above Jaune who pulled up his profile "this, I'm half honest but it's basically showing that I'm young and willing to become a loving sugar daddy"

—

Name: Jaune Arc

Age: 21

Height: 6'5

Occupation: Freelancer

Details on Occupation: A Little Bit of Everything

Description: A working man willing to put in hours of work into a healthy and stable relationship

Hobbies: Fourth Wall Breaks, Weapons and Chimichangas

What you are looking for your partner:

—

'6'5? Damn your tall' The Box morphed into which Jaune snorted at this "yeah, I was actually told I'd be the tallest in my family" Jaune said to the voice of his master though Wade however noticed the last part of his profile left blank 'what are you looking for in a woman?' "To be determined by the readers of and Wattpad" Jaune responded to his masters question until Jaune looks up to find the BD walk out of the back room with a folder "the things I do for you is exceptional...I had to go through a large portion of the Internet to find this type of information" The Droid spoke with irritation in its voice while slamming the thicc file in front of Jaune.

Jaune picks up the large file feeling the weight of the paper within then looked up nodding at the thin Droid in sweat clothing "thanks man, I'll head over to Link and Angela's place to grab a lot of reports then to Sams Clinic and lastly to Vikkis House. The level of research to bringing in Roman in astounding" Jaune comments getting up then leaving the place and bd with his customers in robots and mercenaries "suck my robot dick..."

—

There we go you fuckers, another chapter of DeadJaune! Also don't flame me because of website dating. I honestly find that shit a waste of time.

Anyway! Everyone gets another vote for the girls and I'm adding in a couple more just for the hell of it

\- Yang

\- Nora - 1

\- Fem Ren - 1

\- Willow Schnee

\- Velvet - 3

\- Fem Qrow - 4

\- Young Maria Calavera

\- Penny Polendina


	3. Chapter 3: Collecting Favors

Chapter 3: Collecting Favors

—

Alright then, considering not a lot of people aren't voting for the romance poll so I'll be putting this one for a couple more times otherwise it's gonna be stuck in stone.

Everyone has another Chance to vote.

\- Yang

\- Nora - 1

\- Fem Ren - 1

\- Willow Schnee - 1

\- Velvet - 4

\- Fem Qrow - 5

\- Young Maria Calavera - 1

\- Penny Polendina

Now last piece of business, I need more ideas for the Deadpool story and I'm willing to take anything I can get

Also BD don't be offended about what's in the chapter, it's a bunch of teasing and it's all meant to be in good fun for you

I know this one is shorter then the others, I'm sorry about that but I was eager to get this out so I can start working on several other books

—

A few days since Jaune called in favors with the members of the four crime families since the red suited gun maniac is a good friend to them for the more legal side for a while as well as being constantly hired by them to take care of squealers and pigs.

In the outskirts of Vale City is where Jaune Arcs crazed friends live as to keep there private lives away from the crime they constantly spew in the dark side, A man in a pumpkin Pete's hoodie with jeans and purple crocks is seen walking the frankly very beautiful looking Neighborhood "take note kiddos, my friends, Link, Vikki, Angela and Sam all live in this neighborhood and since they all work for the crime families. Best way to keep them together" Jaune announced to the readers while continuing his walk.

Turning down the walkway of a very nice looking two story modern house which when Jaune passed the mailbox said 'The Sunrises' showing the married home of Link and Angela Sunrise "I wonder what Ocarina of Time Link saw in that blood bitch" Jaune asked to himself as that was one of the few mysteries that's going to be however didn't realize at the moment of reaching the red colored door of the Sunrise Residence was a muscular man in brown pants and white a polo shirt that hugged his muscular torso, his long blonde hair unbound hanging free on his shoulders.

The Blonde Man smiled at Jaune while he was talking to himself about Angela "she isn't as crazed or blood thirsty then you make her out to be Jaune, she's very sweet when she wants to be" he spoke in a soft but deep voice which is the same as a fatherly tone, Jaune looked over at the blonde man who was crouching in front of a bed of multicolored roses "shut it Hyrule" Jaune commented on a game which the man now known as Link just laughed lightly before looking down at the Roses "you here for the files? What am I saying, of course you are. Mainly because I don't want you around long enough for Angela to rip you apart since the job of cleaning blood and guts usually falls to me" Link said to Jaune who just snorted as that usually happened when Angela got mad at the red man.

Jaune extended his right to grab the knob which turned indicating it was unlocked to allow DP to go in to the entry way which was modern decorum and clean though taking off his worn out red sneakers at the entry way before moving forward into the house, as it was a rule of the sunrise household is to take off ones shoes before entering.

Walking deeper into the modern house then into the kitchen where a woman very curvy in a white and blue striped blouse though it did nothing to contain the DD Cup Breasts so leaving nothing to the imagination with blue skinny jeans that showed off the complete curve package, her blood red hair is loose and free resting on her shoulders "Cunt" Jaune said completely dismissing what he's seeing right now.

The woman turned around from leaning on the counter showing her very beautiful face and dangerous equally beautiful green eyes "What. The. Fuck. Did you just call me?" She asked in a very dangerous tone slowly turning towards the Rwby Deadpool, Jaune however stepped back as his Deadpool Senses are telling him 'RUUUUUUNNNNN! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!' The blonde man continued to step back as Angela Bloodstone continued to walk towards him.

Jaune looks at the readers with a nervous look "there will be times in this fanfic atrocity that you will say 'yo!? What the fuck Deadpool!?' And the answer is that I don't think in some of my shit and this is the consequences of my no thought actions" Jaune looks back at the scowling red headed woman "uh oh..."

Outside the Sunrise Home where Link Sunrise was still crouched down in front of a bed of multi colored then raised the pair of clippers to extend forward and clipping off a thorn on a red rose "AHHHHHHHHHH! OH SWEET MERCIFUL BUDDA PLEASE!" Came shouting from inside the house prompting the grizzled but FIIIINE looking man to turn to his left where the door is located and a multitude of sounds are heard then debris started FLYING through the door be it photos, vases, antiques though link surged forward to grab a flying blender to hug close to his defined chest then swiftly and horrifyingly back to his former position infront of the flower bed.

He hugged the blender closer to his chest because it was special to him, he gotten that blender from his mother though clutched it hard when sounds of someone is like being murdered in his house "AHHHHHHHGHGH OHHHH LORDY LUU! AHHHHHHH! BUDDHA! ZEUS! GOD! ONE OF YOU GUYS DO SOMETHING! AHHHHHHHHH! I DIDN'T KNEES CAN BEND THAT WAY! AHHHHHHHHHHH! SATEN! YOU OWE ME! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! HOLY GOD BROTHERS, THAT CANT BE PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE! AHHHHHHHHHH! NO NO NO NO LEAVE MY DICK ALONE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHHGHHH MY DRAGON BALLS! IN MY LAST BREATH I CURSE BATTLEDROID1106! FUCK HIM AND HIS FANTASTIC FANART AND STORIES!"

An hour later after Dead-Jaune was being close to being murdered by the angriest woman to ever have crossed over from a comic to Rwby, In the kitchen which has been littered with splatters of blood though Link looked annoyed as he tried to scrub the wall next to the door leading to the entry way.

Angela looks satisfied with a smile while sitting slightly on the counter facing the man who was the subject to the blood woman's anger, Jaune sat in the chair with his face so bloodied and bruise one wouldn't recognize the Merc with a mouth beside the blonde mop of hair though the blood and bruising is starting to fade rapidly due to the Enhanced Healing Factor of Jaune "Jaune Arc, Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth, the man of triple semblances and going by your Instadust Profile...BigDickPapi135..." Angela spoke about Jaune with slight disdain.

Jaune however just glared at Angela while raising a glass full of brown liquid known as bourbon to his lips to take the sip of the burning drink before putting down the large but short glass "fuck you you fucking whore..." the blonde man retorted as the last of his injuries were healed within the minutes but heavily angry, The Blood woman snorted nodding her head slightly with a smile "alright, I deserve that for going below the belt...anyway did you come for the files me and link gathered?" She asked waiting for a few moments of Jaune glaring at her before nodding "yeah, I need the files on Roman and Cinder Fall" Jaune spoke as moments after leaving BDs bar few days back, he recalled Angela to also find information on Cinder Fall.

"Alright, there in the front room so I'll get them." She exclaimed thus getting off the counter to walk out into the living room to grab the files off the coffee table "do you ever think about what you do Jaune?" Link asked stopping from his scrubbing to stare at the blonde man who didn't turn just bringing the glass of alcohol close to his face "not really, it's one of the main reasons people call me unpredictable. I act without thinking so no one can say they can predict my next move" Link huffed slightly before turning back to continue scrubbing but couldn't deny that, first time the Zelda Named Man fought Deadpool couple years back but couldn't figure out what the past DP planned to do as if it was just movements thought up on the spot.

Angela returned to the kitchen holding two vanilla colored files handing them to Jaune who got out of his seat to grab them "here they are, how do they tie into your Adam Taurus Investigation?" She asked curiously as DP does a lot things out of the ordinary but the pursuit of Adam was something Jaune always did straight and with great intelligence.

Jaune looked at the two files then answered the blood woman's question "Alex had made a deal with Adam and the two had been working closely together for a few months now however something on google tells me that Cinder Fall is deep in a more sinister plot" The Blonde Merc exclaimed then putting the folders under his arm nodding at her "thanks for getting the files, I'm heading over to sams and vikkis before I start piecing together the information" Angela nodded at this walking over to assist her husband in the clean up of the kitchen.

Jaune leaves the house after finishing his glass of burn brown then continued his marry way but now information that will bring Jaune closer and closer to killing Adam Taurus then skull fucking him "alright Angela is down, you fellas like her?" Jaune spoke to the readers though a bit sarcastic on the like her comment though turned on a walkway several houses down from the sunrise, passing by a mailbox that said Violet indicating Jaune walking to the household of Victoria 'Vikki' Violet.

Knocking on the door hoping she would be there "well her car is here so she should be around or she could be on a jog...nawwwww! The author is putting her in now!" Jaune comments with a chuckle before falling silent when the door open revealing a woman an inch smaller then Jaune, her outfit consisted of a black t shirt with the print 'X-Ray and Vav' and her blue jeans. Her hair is a violet color and reached down the mid section of her back while her purple hair covered the right portion of her face though more noticeable her right eye however what has Jaune more on edge is the piecing electric blue eye of her left.

Jaune gulped slightly at the very sight of her soul piecing lone eye then spoke of his intention "uhhh hey Vikki...I came for the favor?" Vikkis mouth soon stretched into a smile though one that made Jaune gulp the lump in his throat, Jaune did not feel safe around Vikki because of her unnatural cheerful attitude and The Blonde Merc suspects she has a torture dungeon somewhere in her house.

"Then come in Jaune." She spoke moving slightly allowing Jaune entrance into her home which he did, the blonde man entered the house then looks around at the decor which mainly includes pictures of Sam, Herself, Angela, Link and Jaune.

"Did you want a drink? I suspect you'd want one after the ripping Angela gave you" Vikki offered with a slightly giggle which the blonde man looked back at her with an annoyed expression "of course you'd hear that...I'm already being laughed at by the dicks and bitches on and Wattpad. I don't need you to laugh" He exclaimed only seeing the violet colored woman to nod.

The two entered the kitchen with Vikki picking up the file on the kitchen counter to hand it to Jaune "anyways, this is all the information of recent trade agreements dealt with the White Fang, Cinder Fall and Roman Torchwick, I've also placed information on the Headmaster of Haven Academy because I feel he's someone tied into your investigation but Jaune.." Vikki informed the Merc of what she found until her smile fell into a nervous frown which got the mans blue eyes to widen since Vikki never frowns.

"While I was gathering the information I've noticed something bad concerning Mistral, A startling decline in huntsmen presence, a rise in white fang movement as well as abnormal Grimm activity...somethings happening there Jaune, and it's getting me worried about the possible effects along with a domino effect...something deeper is happening" Vikki explained her worries to the blonde Merc which he plastered a more serious face since Jaune also has been feeling shifts through the ground.

"Yeah, I feel something terrible is going to happen. It's almost as if a Omniscient Being has the power called...the internet to figure out what's happening next" Jaune exclaimed then grinned seeing vikkis lone blue eye looking extremely confused.

Jaune chuckled lightly to put the extra file under his arm to turn and leave the confused Vikki but also couldn't shake the feeling of darkness that's soon approaching "she's right guys, bad things are gonna happen." Jaune reaffirms the readers while continuing his walk towards the house on the end of the block to where Sams House is located.

Again the same, passing the mailbox that reads 'Bronze' before walking over to the door to knock on it with three solid and powerful knocks which a few moments later the door slowly opened allowing Jaune to look through the opening to find a pudgy Black and White Corgi sitting at the front door wagging its puff tail and panting hard in happiness to look at Jaune "hey there Bowser, where's your mama?" Jaune asked the little corgi which barked it's answer, the blonde man looked up to see a familiar mop of brown hair tied into a bun while the woman that the hair was attached too waswearing her usual thick framed glasses "h-hey Jaune..." she spoke in a muffled tone behind the door which even concealed more then her body with only the left side of her face was revealed.

Jaune raised an eyebrow at the young doctors nervous stance behind the door "you gonna let me in? Or should I strike up a conversation with Bowser while you get the medical reports" the Merc joked while the dog by his feet barked "Woof!" Excitedly as if he wanted to talk to Jaune though Sams eyes showed amusement "alright, if you want a soda it's in the fridge cause you know...I don't drink" she exclaimed moving the door lightly but enough for Jaune to pass.

Jaune walked through the enlarged opening into the house of Samantha 'Sam' Bronze, upon entering it was not as decorative as the other two houses but held a Sam personified look, walking around a bit before entering the living room consisting of a desk, laptop(Jaune: top of the line too, I have the money but I'm way to busy to pick that out) while there is a couch, large tv with several game consoles on the entertainment center, Dustindo Switch, Dustbox and a PSDust.

Jaune Looks at the readers with a coy look "a play on with real world game stations with Rwby feel to them, gotta keep up in the rules" Jaune exclaimed then looking at the multitude stacks of gaming material ranging from puzzle games like Zelda all the way to FPS Shooters like Call of Duty(2020) "she has quite the collection ain't she guys? It'd take to long and the author isn't really aiming to look up a bunch of games to fill her cabinets" Jaune said to the readers before turning around to find Sam fidgeting in her place while holding several folders.

Sam was wearing a sweater that covered most of her upper torso and arms though with her sweatpants as baggy as her sweater "Jaune, just what are you looking for? Roman Torchwick, Cinder Fall? I feel this is going deeper then your initial investigation to kill Adam" Jaune didn't extend that because of calling numerous favors is getting people to ask questions and with that is causing everyone to be cautious.

Jaune nodded rubbing a hand through his scalp obviously figured out a deeper conspiracy is afoot and it ties in deep to Adam and when Jaune kills Adam will no doubt find himself in some mysterious shadow war "just being cautious Sammy, Adam has found himself new friends and those friends had a piece of Adam so I'm tracking them down to ask them where Adam is" Jaune spoke the half truth as he was determined to figure out what Adam had dragged himself into.

Sam nodded extending the medical reports to Jaune which he grabbed eagerly "just be careful Jaune, I personally don't want an Angry BD banging on my door..." Jaune snorted at that as BD had shown on multiple occasions to be very protective of Jaune and Neo.

Jaune chuckled walking up to rub the head of Sam who smiled at the action "don't worry Sam, if anything did happen..I will heal from it like I usually do, I'm like the metaphorical version of cancer...can't get rid of me...HA!" Jaune comments on himself

—

Fun Fact! I don't drink alcohol either, not because I'm allergic or it's against my religion, it's simply because I don't like the taste of alcohol, one night I drank a couple beers and hard soda and the only one I'd take more of is Hard Soda. But all in all...Bear tasted like cats vomit that they shit out then the dog ate it before shitting that out then eating it again repeating the process a couple times before dumping it on my floor.

And I almost threw up there...


End file.
